C. Napolitano


Goodbye Berlin <3



It's the end and there's only one thing left to say: Digiorno, Berlin, it’s been real.

You remind me of a girl that I once knew. I see her face whenever I look at you. You won't believe all of the things that she put me through. This is why I just can't get with you.

With respekt to Usher, I’ll wrap this up with a list. Lists get all the clicks and they’re easy for millennials to consume since our brains are mush from Instagram and Myspace. So without further ado, here is the good the bad and the ugly for my time in Berlin


THE GOOD: This place flows like some really good water metaphor. Elbkind has nailed how to run a creative workspace. 

THE BAD: Overestimating myself at ping pong. Elbkinders do not mess around and I’m fairly sure they lied about everything what is real my life is a white ball bouncing back and forth. PING PONG.

THE UGLY: The beverage they call Club Mate. I will now be in a perpetual hunt to find this elixir of the gods back stateside. WAKE UP SHEEPLE CLUB MATE IS BETTER THAN REDBULL.



THE BAD: Less lots

THE UGLY: Not as many lots 


THE GOOD: I am leaving Berlin 20 pounds lighter, much healthier, and with some spare change in my pocket. I also got a new pair of really cool Adidas. I can speak fluent German, as long as it’s in English.

THE BAD: Can we maybe just put A/C in a few places? 

THE UGLY: There isn’t too much to write here except for people not picking up dog poop on the sidewalks. For a culture that thrives on obeying rules, this is a strange omission that I don't understand. Maybe they enjoy that creamy feeling when you glide an inch after accidentally stepping in some. Who knows.


THE GOOD: Holy hell, Berlin hipsters made it cool for grown adults to eat pork and beans without the beans. This is a wizard Harry.

THE BAD: I wish it was served on something sturdier than a napkin. You can’t eat this without having sauce under your fingernails for the next 12 years. It’s a scientific fact. It’s not fake news. 

THE UGLY: Accidentally ordering a white sausage currywurst. White. Sausage. Currywurst. It will haunt me for many nights to come. Just terrifying.


THE GOOD: I met some quality people. They make me smile when I think of them.

THE BAD: I met some not quality people. I will still smile when I think of them also because I stole their beer from the fridge. Also, my partner Marcelo mentions potatoes 10 times a day. It is strange. Shout out to Marcelo, hope you got your potatoes.

THE UGLY: Unpopular opinion in Europe; It’s not cool to replace an American’s name with “American”. I dealt with this getting called “Miami” during my New York years, and at 27, it still strikes me as something only an jerk would do. 


I really enjoyed my time in Berlin and will come back in 2018. Berlin is not just another city, and it easily gets an A+. And if Hurricane Irma has her way, I may just stay here anyways. 

What does this mean for the blog? Glad you asked! With over 100,000 subscribers and 5,000 unique daily visitors in two months, I now compete with apple.com for the 10th most visited site on the internet. There will be a recap of my trip to Norway, then “Nowhere Near Berlin” will transform. I will write about lifestyle things you will find interesting like:

  • Christian's Adventures 
  • Christian's Other Adventures 
  • & my personal favorite, Christian Opinion on the Global Theory of Cortex!!!

So stay tuned friends, this is only the beginning. Sincerely, thank you for following along, and if you have any suggestions or feedback, keep them because I'm cool.