C. Napolitano

isaidwut

Been in Berlin

 
Club-Mate, Charizard loves the stuff.

Club-Mate, Charizard loves the stuff.

Halfway through my German tryst I've learned to speak approximately zero German, regardless of consuming 723 types of local bratwurst. I can now enjoy beer at room temperature, though my shotgunning skills have eroded from a lack of beer being sold in cans. Since life, uh, finds a way, Berliners substitute shotgunning with Backpfeifengesicht, and needless to say, I am very good at it. 

Like the progress reports that made me crap my fifth grade JNCOs, I am issuing a report card based only on what I've seen so far. The categories are arbitrary, and I’m wired from CLUB-MATE, so don’t actually expect anything helpful here.

 

FOOD: B+ 

Berlin food is good food. There’s variety and it’s all reasonably priced. Point deduction because HOW HARD IS IT TO MAKE A BURRITO. I’m injecting guac into my veins and snorting crushed up tortilla once back stateside. Truthers, avocado toast does not contain guacamole. 

BEER: LEVEL 9000 

This place is the place. It’s really the place. I mean, wow, what a place. I mentioned Budweiser on my first day and still haven’t recovered socially.

FASHION: EIGHT KARL LAGERFELDS

Wearing denim overalls inside out, backwards, and on your head… I dig. I do not dig boutiques selling only itty-bitty tiny people sizes of said overall hat. Excuse me for being corn-fed, but us large folk like to peacock too.  

NIGHTLIFE: 9 SKRILLEX

Woah.. How can I not give the famous Berlin Nightlife 10 SKRILLEX? Because of the fact that by mentioning Skrillex, I won't get into Berghain tonight.