C. Napolitano


Somewhere in Berlin (is Mitte)

Volkspark, Mitte

Volkspark, Mitte

During the last two years, I’ve had the opportunity to travel to 6 European countries for both work as well as pleasure. In the twenty-five years before that, the number is zero. Because of the drastic introduction to traveling abroad into my life, I’ve recently learned there’s a common language almost all countries share, and it is beautiful. This language is avocado toast.

Flipping through The Economist on the flight over for the first and last time of my life, I read something fascinating. The publication reports a monthly Big Mac Index. This compares true cost of a Big Mac all over world, accounting for import/export taxes, exchange rates and other factors. For example, a Big Mac currently costs $1.65 in Egypt compared to $6.67 in Switzerland. Cool right? I guess, unless you live in Switzerland and enjoy Big Macs. 

What I’m getting at here is the fact we need to do away with the Big Mac Index and get an avocado toast index. 

You may be think to yourself, “Christian, what a silly topic to write about while living abroad!”, to which my response would be, no, your face is silly. I’m writing about this because it’s important. I’ve learned the USA has a bullshit avocado toast index. $13.00 for two eggs, a fruit (yes an avocado is a fruit), and a slice of bread? Good grief children, we need to do something about this. We need to Make American Avocado Toast Great Again. Berlin has good avocado toast FOR EIGHT DOLLARS. Thats almost as cheap as a Big Mac in Switzerland.


“You're a wizard, Harry.”